[8-11-08] The Beaten Dog Analogy

[8:36am]
     Ah, what a beautiful morning! Everything's a bit more lovely without all that pain. And, believe it or not, I am not currently hopped up on Vicodin. :P I was afraid that the severity of the pain meant that it was something chronic or permanent. But it looks like it was passing. I did have to take like two Vicodin's every four hours until about 5am, when it started to resolve. It was a rough night's sleep.
     Not just due to the pain, but also because of the sweating. For some reason, I was sweating a bunch -- mostly in the scalp. I'm talking, "wow, my pillow is wet" type sweating. I hope it's due to the pain medications, and not the traditional Hodge "night sweats."

     By the way, I'd like to briefly mention the "Beaten Dog" analogy. It is perhaps one of the most widely applicable metaphors/analogies in existence. Basically, it describes the result if, 1>A Jerk were to beat his dog every day, then 2>Immediately stop beating his dog, and, as a result, 3>The dog loves him more for it.
     I think people are very similar to the dog. If some entity causes me extreme pain, then causes it to stop, then I will wake up the next morning professing the beauty of his creation. Or, why is it that I feel profoundly grateful when the doctor who just gave me a bone marrow biopsy finishes the procedure?

     Back to symptoms...

     Then there's another thing on my mind. I can feel the tumor again. To put it eloquently, when I am in the bathroom applying "butt pressure," the tumor protrudes a bit from my chest. The first time I noticed this was after I received my second biopsy; I hadn't had any chemo yet. After I had some chemo, it gradually went away until I couldn't notice it anymore.
     About a month after the Stanford V ended, I noticed the tumor's presence, but it wouldn't protrude like previously.
     Now, it protrudes again. However, as strange as it sounds, I think this is a good thing. First off, it is a substantially smaller protrusion than before. More like a small plum, and less like an apple. Secondly, my gut feeling is that the tumor is just "loose." Give it a biopsy, or zap it with chemo, and the supportive structure of cells holding the thing upright breaks apart, and it has mobility. So, I'm not panicked. Still, it is disconcerting.

     Oh yeah, I've got to start my final term paper, due in 25 hours. "gotta keep moving..." :P

[8:25pm] Food Celebration
     I forgot to mention that this is my personal spoil Austin with food month. :) I'm making good progress today.

7:30am: Three Egg Breakfast, over easy, bacon, and potatoes.
11:45am: Super Nachos (Carne Asada) with grape flavored energy drink.
5:00pm: Tempura Roll, Crunchy Delight Roll.
8:30pm: 7-11 Nachos + 4 Jack-in-the-box tacos.