[8-08-08] Frozen Yogurt Aggression

[1:12am]
     Today was a huge day! I just got home a few minutes ago, and wanted to say a bit about the big Stanford Bone Marrow Transplant Clinic before I doze off. But there's just too much info, and I'm too tired -- so I'll do it tomorrow.

     But before I go, let me say a few words about the dangers of frozen yogurt. Yes, frozen yogurt.
     I've always been somewhat of a minimalist. I try not to have to many unnecessary possessions and I try to keep my life simple. In a way, that has combined with the "college-student frugality" and extended to absurdity. For example, I haven't gone out for ice cream in ages. I mean, it costs like $5 and it doesn't fill you up! So, what's the point? Why not just get a big juicy burger or something -- at least that *feeds* you. Accordingly, instead of going out for ice cream, I'd just allocate the money of yummy fast food or something.
     My current situation has forced me to re-evaluate that philosophy. And I've discovered that I have quite a lot of catching up to do. I've been going to all the different frozen yogurt places in Berkeley for the past week or so; trying all the different flavors. In fact, Liz and I just got back from Baskin Robbins after I satisfied a huge PB & Chocolate craving. My point is that you will frequently find me, walking home from class, while gleefully munching on a giant bowl of frozen yogurt. You can eat SO MUCH more frozen yogurt than ice cream, it's great!

     So, how is this dangerous?
     For some reason, two days in a row, while I was eating frozen yogurt, I was verbally assaulted and threatened by the homeless around telegraph. It starts with a rude comment from them, me looking blankly and continuing to eat my yogurt, and then the threats of physical violence. Maybe it's because, with all this going on, I'm really not intimidated or scared. After a bone marrow biopsy, fear of a little fist fight seems ridiculous. Or maybe it's because I'm so carefree while I'm eating the yogurt. It's as if the yogurt is some untold beacon of aggression. I don't know. Whatever it is, it seems to upset them.

     And although I'm a pacifist, and consider myself to not be an overall jerk, I thought to myself: "What if, instead of just ignoring them, I stood my ground and put my dukes up?" Going the path of least resistance is what I always do -- why shouldn't I try something new, have a new experience... What have I got to lose?

     Then the thought faded, and I quickly became absorbed yet-again in my blackberry swirl. However, I thought about it a bit later, and realized to my amusement, that it wouldn't have been a fair fight.
     Two outcomes:
     1> I lose: Then this jerk just beat up a dude with cancer. Can you believe that? That's so not cool.
     2> I win: Then this dude with cancer just beat this jerk up. He's anemic and has no white blood cells, but he can still kick your ass. What a loser.

     Now here's why I told this story... Thursday, my sister told me that she felt my blog has a "positive spin" or something. There is no "positive spin" in any of this -- I'm desperately trying to 100% accurately document my feelings, observations, and experiences without any sort of sugar coating whatsoever. I need this to be truth, not story. That last entry was 100% how I feel.
     When I was doing my own research into Hodgkin's, I looked to internet blogs for guidance and information. It was a great resource, but it seemed like a lot of the gory details (i.e., diarrhea) or negative emotions were left out. I wanted to know just how bad it got.

     So, in an effort to maintain journalistic integrity, I'm writing a detailed story about how I regressed to a high-school kid while eating frozen yogurt. I thought those thoughts and they were related to my "journey" -- so they get written down. In addition, I vow to continue to document all of my silly, negative, mean-spirited, stupid, ambitious, optimistic, pessimistic, embarrassing, loving, greedy, and otherwise not-OK thoughts! Lack of censorship is what makes it real.