[8-10-08] Back Pain ER Visit

[6:05pm]
     I just got out of the ER a few hours ago. They gave me some very strong pain medication, so putting this entry together is taking a little cognitive effort. I feel like I'm in a medical drama or something -- all this action lately. The story starts yesterday afternoon...

     Dan gives me a call: "Are you bored? I was thinking of getting a hotel on the Oakland waterfront." Awesome, I was truly stoked. The last time we celebrated like that was in San Francisco, like 5 years ago. I remember drinking beers in the SF hotel lobby, and getting chocolate ice cream all over the place. It was awesome.
     So, here's yet another chance to live it up. Plus, it's never been just the two of us. This was a special treat. Yet one more chance to "pull one from the Devil's teeth." I agreed. "Beer's in the cellar around 5:15pm. Chopper is inbound." Six months without alcohol. I've got to live it up while I still can.
     The hotel room was incredible. There was a balcony with a view of the waterfront, a giant bathroom, and the room was huge! So, we had many beers, ate excellent meat, and had a great time.

     I woke up the next morning with terrible back pain. Usually, I just have to sit up, or walk around, and the pain will subside. If it's really bad, a warm bath always helps. Two warm baths later, and the pain was getting worse. I told Dan that I had to go, and left with the intention of getting some pain meds and returning later. My aunt was having a birthday party, and the plan was to head over there later in the day.
     By the time I was in the hotel lobby, I knew I needed to go to the hospital. I interrupt the concierge's conversation with a customer... "Sorry to interrupt, but can you give me directions to the nearest hospital?" I then drove my motorcycle there. In retrospect, perhaps I shouldn't have, but I wanted relief fast. I didn't want to wait for anything!

     I arrive at the hospital around 7:30am. I wait in line for the triage nurse, and explain: "I am experiencing tremendous back-pain." I knew it sounded trivial... I mean, I wasn't gushing blood or having a heart attack or anything. I half expected him to be like, "Go take some Tylenol, there's a 7-11 around the corner." It's back pain.
     When he asked me what I would rate the pain, I said "an eight." To illustrate, at that moment, the pain was at a level where talking was difficult. I would frequently gasp, twitch, or spasm. It was simultaneously muscle and bone pain; pulsating and constant. I was trembling and sweating. I've never experienced this type of pain before. Yes, the bone marrow biopsy was a 10, but this pain had no end in sight -- it just wasn't going away.
     After filling out all the forms and whatnot, I was directed to wait in urgent care. I was too ecstatic at the prospect of pain relief, at that point, to fully understand that if was a very bad thing to be sent to urgent care. This is emergency pain. Nevertheless, I waited in the lobby.

     For perhaps the longest hour and a half of my life, I waited in the lobby. I expected to be called any minute. I mean, the guy *saw* how much pain I was in -- you can't just ignore that! There were many people in the urgent care waiting area, all of them looking pretty OK. On the other hand, they probably thought I was crazy. I would sit down, stand up, sit on the floor, pace the floor, walk to the triage nurse, visit the coke machines, walk around a pillar in circles, etc.. I had to keep moving. Through all of this, I'm also making little grunting noises. Suffice it to say, the security guards were keeping a good watch on me.
     Then the pain began to get worse. My chest began to hurt as well -- probably due to all that labored breathing and whatnot. I couldn't handle the wait anymore. I wanted to start punching walls, or go rob a pharmacy or something. I was so frustrated with the utter relentlessness of the pain. 7th tear this year. But then I got a desperate idea! Chest pain = ER. I had chest pain. So I ran back to the triage nurse, and explained my new symptom. The triage nurse sent me back to urgent care at the front of the line, and then the urgent care nurse said: "You have chest pain? We're not equipped for that here. You need to go to the ER and get hooked up to an EKG. Go back to the triage nurse."
     The triage nurse was inept. Not an uncommon trait in this hospital. At that moment, I noticed that it was a county hospital. Nevertheless, I was then escorted into the ER.

     Finally! The nurse had me change into a gown, and check my vitals. No pain meds yet, but the end was in sight! I was being treated, and knowing that the pain would soon end made it much easier to handle. At around 10:00am, the doctor arrived.
     He was a nice guy. He got my history and symptoms, and then immediately recognized how much pain I was in. "Well, your pulse is 133 -- that's probably because you're in so much pain right now. Your temp is 99.5. Nurse, get him 8mg of morphine. You can handle morphine, right?"
     In an effort not to look like a drug-seeking morphine junkie, I tried not to smile. I failed miserably.
     "Well, we can't diagnose if there's any cardiac problems at the moment -- you're trembling too much for the EKG to generate good results. Let's get you some relief, and then proceed with the tests." Works for me.

     The nurse took 30 minutes to come back with the morphine. I was pissed. After she injected it, I was shocked to notice that I felt no relief. "How long does it take to have an effect?" She says, "About 30 minutes. That's because I did it intra-muscular. If I had injected it into a vain, it would've been pretty instant. Maybe I should've done that instead..." Uh, yes. You should have.
     After about 30 minutes, another friendly doctor checked in on me. "How's the pain," she asks. "Still ridiculous," I say. She smiles. "Well get you something much stronger than morphine, then."
     30 more minutes pass, and the doctor checks in again... "Feeling better?" "Uhm, nope -- I haven't received any more pain meds." Shocked, she storms off and finds my nurse... "Get this poor man some [name of drug], stat!"
     After the nurse pokes me a few times for the IV, and gets blood all over, she begins to administer the drug (it's like 11:30am). After about 5 minutes, the pain went from a 9 to a 4. I was so relieved. I started to breathe normally, my pulse started to go down, my trembling stopped... It was so nice to be with less pain, after all this time. The drug made me really tired, but I couldn't get to sleep -- it was still too painful to doze off. But at least I felt somewhat human again.

     The first doctor returns, and I express my overwhelming gratitude to be without pain. He proceeds to order scans to see if the tumor has metastasized into the spine, or if there's a clot in the lungs... They perform the tests, and give me another shot of the pain med about an hour later. At that time, the pain was nearly gone -- it was great! It did make me sweat profusely though -- that was annoying.
     The doctor returns yet again, announces that all my scans were good, and writes me a prescription for vicodin. He was unable to determine what caused pain, and simply said, "If it returns we'll dig deeper. Perhaps you slept awkwardly or something." I told him that sleeping oddly doesn't cause this amount of pain. He agreed.
     Then he discharged me, and told me to "Say hello to Doctor Irwin." Apparently, they knew each other.

     So, I drove home, picked up the Vicodin, took two preemptively, and here I am. The pain is pretty much gone. I don't know what caused it, but I'm certainly glad it isn't there anymore. So, that's my adventure! I'm a gonna try to get some sleep now.