[11-07-08] Things are Great (Day +4)

[7:19am]
     Let's see... time for yet another update on my general well-being and state of mind.

     Physically, the mucositis has deteriorated to epic levels. I tried to take a ship of chilled milk this morning, but it literally scalded my mouth. Just out of curiosity, I pondered to myself how could something that is chilled taste like simmering water. Then, I proceeded to mouth the words "hot, hot, hot" as I'm fanning my mouth with my palm -- sign language for "I just ate a whole heap of Jalapeno Peppers," I'm sure.
     But even without food/beverage, just repositioning my mouth alone can cause quite severe pain. Talking is very, very difficult. And, as Barbara has said, I've learned that certain words be only said through clenched teeth, for safety purposes.
     Still, Fentanyl is my friend. And as Dan said in his previous email: "Hang in there bro...click......click....click...clickclickclick."
I couldn't agree more

     However, there's the painful mental acuity vs. stupid and painfree tradeoff. To those used to my writing, it may be painfully obvious that I've been clicking the pain away. I keep nearly dozing off mid-sentence, so this may be an entry best kept short.


     Then there's the myriad of skin problems. Now, just the phrase "skin problems" sounds like it can be treated with little more than daily moisturer and some SPF 10.
So let me rephrase that: "There's the myriad of skin/host rebellions with a scattered collection of skin terrorist splinter cells."
     That's better. My chest looks like it's been subjected to an Iron Maiden with a sort of chicken pox.
     But, I believe I went into a little detail yesterday, so I'll spare ye. Lets just say I've been vigilant!


     Anyhow, nausea is at a low because I'm not eating much! Woohoo! Err, I take that back, completely. I was about to take pills while entering a blog entry, but nearly threw up. So, nausea's not completely gone. But I'm getting tired, so I'll just summarize like this: My symptoms are getting worse. My management of those symptoms has gone through the roof on both an emotional and a chemical level. In short: Things are great!

my Things are going smashingly well!