[10:21pm]
Things have been ridiculous...
First, I've been getting very little sleep lately. Catheter pain has been preventing me from sleeping on my side. Since I can only sleep on my side, this has been problematic for the past week or so. But last night was ridiculous.
If it wasn't catheter pain keeping me up, then it was my insane Neupogen-related back pain. If it wasn't that, it was a slight fever (100.3). And, of course, we were on tiptoes because a fever of 100.5 or above merits an ER visit. So I got next to no sleep last night.
Second, I am not supposed to eat 12 hours before the procedure. So no food for me after midnight (what am I, a gremlin?).
Accordingly, you have a starving neutropenic anemic patient that is just recovering from a fever and complete lack of sleep. That is my explanation for my decrepit state today. AFter the 2nd transfusion: feeling much better. After no sleep and no food: feeling not so good.
To articulate, I recall lying on the hospital bed. My back was killing me, so I repositioned myself so that I was sitting upright. That act alone raised my pulse to 120, gave me an insta-headache (due to lack of oxygen to brain), broke a sweat, and caused me to wheeze rapidly for 5 minutes or so.
Yes, it was ridiculous! I had to take 3 breaks on the way to my procedure and I was pushing myself so hard that I got lost. Barbara commented that I wasn't thinking straight due to lack of oxygen. From that point on, I was so tired I was docile. You could have said that Palin was smarter than Einstein and I probably would've nodded noncommittally.
The procedure itself was much better than last time. They couldn't figure out why I had catheter pain and defective blood return -- the x-rays all looked perfect. Regardless, the best course of action was decided: remove the "defective" catheter and place a new one on the other side of the chest.
So that's what they did.
Also, I made sure to articulate that lots of pain was not acceptable. They want to distinguish between sharp pain and pulling/pushing. For some reason, they believe that "dull" pain associated with pushing/pulling did not exist -- that the mind somehow interpreted this weird pushing feeling as pain or something. This was told to me by several nurses and the doctor, so I took it seriously. I remember sitting there on the table saying, "Yup that's pain. It's a dull pain, and I know you're pushing/pulling, but it's still pain. Yup, that hurts. And I'm trying to be especially objective here." Or some such.
Still, everything went wonderfully. In fact, the catheter was placed on the right side of my chest with little pain at all. Removing the previous catheter... that's where extra time was spent. Something was wrong about that side; maybe it's because the big tumor is there... or my veins are sensitive on that side or something. Who knows.
And the nurses were crazy. They were all female jokesters -- casually engaging in banter while singing along to their Mo'town CD. I recall on several occasions them saying something like: "Glad you probably wont remember this; I'd hate to see the look on your mom's face when you tell her that you were cut up by a bunch of crazy dancin' nurses." I assured them that I would remember everything; they didn't believe me.
At one point, the doctor asked the nurse "how is he doing?" (The doctor can't see my head because a big blue sheet is draped over it). She replied, "Wow, he's actually crying!" I heard the doctor, startled, say "what?!?" And I said, "Hey, I'm not crying!" The nurse smiled.
At another point, they tried to get me to sing along with a Mo'town song. I told them: "You haven't given me nearly enough drugs to get me to do that!" They laughed and said, "Is that a challenge?" Flatly, I replied, "Yes." Then I pointed out the ethics of making a drugged patient entertain the nurses.
After the procedure, I got a call from the apheresis nurse: "You've been having lots of bone pain, right?"
"How did you know?"
"Your white blood count went from 1 to 12 in a single day; your marrow has been working overtime."
So, yay! I get apheresis tomorrow! Naturally, they want us there at 7:30am. So I'll have to get up at 5 or so. I better get some sleep.
Showing posts with label procedure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label procedure. Show all posts
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
[10-01-08] Blood and Fire
[2:49pm]
Bloooooooood... need more bloooooooood.
I've had my first taste of it; I feel like a vampire. I want more. The effect 250ml of blood has on someone who needs it is profound. I didn't realize it until I got the 2nd transfusion, but I really needed it.
Yes, the 2nd one... I'll back up.
Yesterday, I started with a 2 hour (1 unit) transfusion followed my my normal blood work at another lab. When I got home, I was exhausted, and fell right to sleep. I awoke to a phone call from one of my nurses. "You need another transfusion," she said. Apparently my tiredness correlated quite well with my blood results. Here they are:
Hematocrit 24.3 -> 23.9 (after transfusion)
Hemoglobin 8.5 -> 8.6
WBC 0.3 -> 0.2
Weird, huh? Instead of going up, my hematocrit actually went down! I suppose I'm right at the Cytoxan nadir; imagine what my levels would be if I had no transfusion!
So, today I got another unit of blood. And, unlike yesterday, I actually feel a little more energetic. It's actually mostly mental; I still get just about as winded in my walk to the fridge or bathroom. But what I really notice is my improved concentration and newfound clarity of thought -- I must've been a dunce these past days! And I didn't even realize it!
Next topic: catheter. I hate this catheter. I spend all this time maintaining it and it doesn't even work properly. I mean, the Cytoxan had to be administered via IV because the darn thing wouldn't give blood return. Yesterday, another attempt was made to achieve blood return: it failed. So, I called my Stanford nurse and tried to get this darn thing fixed.
Oh, and blood return isn't the main reason. The truth is that it hurts if I try to lay on either my left or right side. I guess it's because my arms are "squishing" my chest or something? Regardless, I've had many nights of bad/little sleep because the darn thing hurts. And I can't sleep on my stomach or back -- that hurts my stomach! So yet again I am faced a similar dilemma: sleep with pain or no sleep. I've been having to stay up late balancing that equation... no fun.
The good news is that my nurse has scheduled me for a procedure tomorrow! Yay! They're actually going to replace the whole catheter with another one, and use a wire or something to help facilitate it. So it should be a quicker procedure than the last one. I believe it will require conscious sedation or something, because they're telling me not to eat after midnight and whatnot.
Also, Barbara says she's on point with getting my doctors to be liberal with the pain meds. I don't want another couple hours of me complaining (to annoyed staff, I'm sure) that I'm in pain.
The doctor usually tells me that I wont feel any pain before the procedure. When he does this, I'm doing to ask him to tell me his full name, date of birth, and social security number during the procedure. If he's given me enough meds (like he says he will), then I will forget all of it. Otherwise, I will try to comfort my post-trauma with a little identity theft spending spree :P
Last time, they told me that I wouldn't feel a thing and would most likely forget the procedure. P-shaw! I could recite most of the music tracks on that mix CD they were playing (mostly, Beach Boys, btw).
Now that I think about it, the Beach Boys are pretty good. I never realized that until I was forced to listen, in detail, to their music. They have some really melodic slow songs.
I digress.
Last subject: Back Pain.
I think I figured out why I had that ridiculous back pain ER visit a while ago. It was because I was given Neulasta (an extended version of Neupogen). I just started feeling the similar pain yesterday night. Fortunately, it wasn't nearly as bad as last time, but still bad enough so that two Vicodin won't get rid of it (helps, though).
The pain went away this morning, then came back in the middle of my transfusion. Fortunately, my doctor approved some Vicodin for me and I got a prescription called in. Hopefully it will help; if the pain gets any worse I may be screwed.
Believe it or not, my Stanford nurse explains that the pain may be a good thing. It seems that a shot of Neupogen is more effective when more white blood cells are present. In addition, when Neupogen causes your marrow to "work" to make more white blood cells there can be pain. The more your marrow works, the more pain (in some people).
For example, if I had a WBC of 0.1 and took Neupogen, then I would be lucky to get a WBC of 0.3 on the next day. Plus, I probably wouldn't feel any bone pain because my marrow isn't working that hard.
On the other hard, if I took Neupogen with a WBC of 10. Then I could get a WBC of 20 on the next day; my marrow would be smokin'! And there would be a lot of pain. This is what happened after ICE #1 and I had to go to the ER: I was given Neulasta preemptively so that I could get more ICE within two weeks. My WBC at the time was 9, I believe.
Oh, and guess where the most WBC producing marrow is? The region around the lower back...so says my nurse, but I'm still skeptical. Regardless, the lower back is up there, I'm sure.
So, even though I had a WBC of 0.3 yesterday. My nurse is willing to bet that this number jumped dramatically, as indicated by the pain.
Bloooooooood... need more bloooooooood.
I've had my first taste of it; I feel like a vampire. I want more. The effect 250ml of blood has on someone who needs it is profound. I didn't realize it until I got the 2nd transfusion, but I really needed it.
Yes, the 2nd one... I'll back up.
Yesterday, I started with a 2 hour (1 unit) transfusion followed my my normal blood work at another lab. When I got home, I was exhausted, and fell right to sleep. I awoke to a phone call from one of my nurses. "You need another transfusion," she said. Apparently my tiredness correlated quite well with my blood results. Here they are:
Hematocrit 24.3 -> 23.9 (after transfusion)
Hemoglobin 8.5 -> 8.6
WBC 0.3 -> 0.2
Weird, huh? Instead of going up, my hematocrit actually went down! I suppose I'm right at the Cytoxan nadir; imagine what my levels would be if I had no transfusion!
So, today I got another unit of blood. And, unlike yesterday, I actually feel a little more energetic. It's actually mostly mental; I still get just about as winded in my walk to the fridge or bathroom. But what I really notice is my improved concentration and newfound clarity of thought -- I must've been a dunce these past days! And I didn't even realize it!
Next topic: catheter. I hate this catheter. I spend all this time maintaining it and it doesn't even work properly. I mean, the Cytoxan had to be administered via IV because the darn thing wouldn't give blood return. Yesterday, another attempt was made to achieve blood return: it failed. So, I called my Stanford nurse and tried to get this darn thing fixed.
Oh, and blood return isn't the main reason. The truth is that it hurts if I try to lay on either my left or right side. I guess it's because my arms are "squishing" my chest or something? Regardless, I've had many nights of bad/little sleep because the darn thing hurts. And I can't sleep on my stomach or back -- that hurts my stomach! So yet again I am faced a similar dilemma: sleep with pain or no sleep. I've been having to stay up late balancing that equation... no fun.
The good news is that my nurse has scheduled me for a procedure tomorrow! Yay! They're actually going to replace the whole catheter with another one, and use a wire or something to help facilitate it. So it should be a quicker procedure than the last one. I believe it will require conscious sedation or something, because they're telling me not to eat after midnight and whatnot.
Also, Barbara says she's on point with getting my doctors to be liberal with the pain meds. I don't want another couple hours of me complaining (to annoyed staff, I'm sure) that I'm in pain.
The doctor usually tells me that I wont feel any pain before the procedure. When he does this, I'm doing to ask him to tell me his full name, date of birth, and social security number during the procedure. If he's given me enough meds (like he says he will), then I will forget all of it. Otherwise, I will try to comfort my post-trauma with a little identity theft spending spree :P
Last time, they told me that I wouldn't feel a thing and would most likely forget the procedure. P-shaw! I could recite most of the music tracks on that mix CD they were playing (mostly, Beach Boys, btw).
Now that I think about it, the Beach Boys are pretty good. I never realized that until I was forced to listen, in detail, to their music. They have some really melodic slow songs.
I digress.
Last subject: Back Pain.
I think I figured out why I had that ridiculous back pain ER visit a while ago. It was because I was given Neulasta (an extended version of Neupogen). I just started feeling the similar pain yesterday night. Fortunately, it wasn't nearly as bad as last time, but still bad enough so that two Vicodin won't get rid of it (helps, though).
The pain went away this morning, then came back in the middle of my transfusion. Fortunately, my doctor approved some Vicodin for me and I got a prescription called in. Hopefully it will help; if the pain gets any worse I may be screwed.
Believe it or not, my Stanford nurse explains that the pain may be a good thing. It seems that a shot of Neupogen is more effective when more white blood cells are present. In addition, when Neupogen causes your marrow to "work" to make more white blood cells there can be pain. The more your marrow works, the more pain (in some people).
For example, if I had a WBC of 0.1 and took Neupogen, then I would be lucky to get a WBC of 0.3 on the next day. Plus, I probably wouldn't feel any bone pain because my marrow isn't working that hard.
On the other hard, if I took Neupogen with a WBC of 10. Then I could get a WBC of 20 on the next day; my marrow would be smokin'! And there would be a lot of pain. This is what happened after ICE #1 and I had to go to the ER: I was given Neulasta preemptively so that I could get more ICE within two weeks. My WBC at the time was 9, I believe.
Oh, and guess where the most WBC producing marrow is? The region around the lower back...so says my nurse, but I'm still skeptical. Regardless, the lower back is up there, I'm sure.
So, even though I had a WBC of 0.3 yesterday. My nurse is willing to bet that this number jumped dramatically, as indicated by the pain.
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