[7:26pm]
During the many hours of wait on the day of my Monday appointment, I had a lot of time to talk with my grandmother. I recall her asking on various subjects: "Are you allowed to ...," or "Can you ...," or "Will you be able to ..."
I remember defiantly answering "yes" to all of those questions. At first, she would give me a perplexed look and I would have to clarify: "Yes I can do that, but the doctors say that it is not allowed." And again, "Certainly, but it is not recommended."
Soon, she was rephrasing all of her questions. No longer was my freedom in question... instead, it was my choices or the doctor's recommendations that was in question. It was a good feeling.
Even if you're not being defiant, just changing your perspective can mean a world of difference. Say you technically have fourteen days remaining before you are supposed to go outside without your mask. There's a world of difference between "I can't go outside without my mask" and "I have chosen not to go outside without my mask." The latter implies freedom.
If you still have your freedom, then that's one less thing the cancer has taken away.
As you may recall, I was told not to fly to Michigan for Christmas holiday. I wasn't given a recommendation, I was told not to fly. Well, I want to go. In addition, I don't think it's a stupid decision. If I do get sick, I'm sure I'll pull through fine... it may just be a bit more prolonged and annoying that others may experience. Flying may slightly increase risk of medical trouble, but isn't that life? And I feel like living! Whether that be from living like a normal human or by taking chances...
"Get busy living, or get busy dying."
On a side note, I had a Snickers today... it was the first food post-BMT that tasted 100% as good as I remember it! Woohoo!
Friday, December 5, 2008
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4 comments:
Hey Austin, I totally understand your "defiance". Just make sure it is fully informed defiance. You sure don't want to say afterward, "well, if I had known THAT, I definitely wouldn't have flown." If you do get sick, that WILL be additional days that cancer took from you. So march onward, Fully Informed Defiant Soldier! :)
Love, Tante Laurie
One of those well-meaning, loving voices of annoying reason
Just for you, A - I'm going to have a Snickers today! :0)
"get busy living"
That says it all. Michigan will be a cold and snowy holiday paradise. Enjoy!
A trip to a distant place is a good way to "open the cage" and get a new environment. We will expect you to return recharged, upbeat, and with new mental and emotional strength.
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