[1-20-09] Day One

[6:21pm]
     The results are in: my scans are clean. Well, as clean as we can detect, anyway. My doctor tells me that "The fire is out, but we can't be sure that there aren't any hot embers just waiting for a gust of wind to flare up. That's what the radiation is for... those embers that might be lurking."

     But, as of now, I've done all that is required in hopes of a cure. My doctor tells me that if a relapse occurs at any point, then the strategy is no longer curative. The options become more scarce.
     But right now, I am in remission. My doctor tells me that, if I stay in remission for 5 years, he will pronounce me statistically cured. Basically, I have 1779 days left until I am free from the threat. The other milestone along the way is after two years of remission -- most Hodgkin's that do relapse, do so in that period. Today is day one.

     It's also the first day of school for me. It's hard for me to return... again. All those emotions and ambitions returning... Time to succeed.

     I also saw the radiation oncologist a few days ago. I have the "set up" scan scheduled in a few days. Then daily radiation for four weeks. It will probably start about a month from now.

     Funny how "Day One" is 9 days short of my cancer discovery. 1779 to go.

     As of now, my blog is scheduled to be updated "whenever I have something to talk about."

     Philosopher of the day: Epicurus (He's not what you think).

[12-08-08] Format C:

[3:09pm]
     I just cleaned my room and fully set-up my workspace. In other words, as of now, I am fully moved in. It always takes longer the first time... a lot of asking "where should I put this?" The next time, everything has its place and the cleaning goes a lot quicker. So I think it's a milestone of sorts... and I've been putting it off since I moved in.

     Also, in the digital realm, I formatted my computer's system drive today. After a year or so, my computer gets quite... disorganized. I find that wiping the system drive and reinstalling the applications I use is the quickest way to get re-organized.
     And I want to get organized. I want to get to work! I want to produce! The first step... is creating a clean workspace. Another milestone of sorts.

     This all is a manifestation of my desire to return to the real world. Time to go from escapist gamer to student (more casual gamer). Time to get ready for college, graduation, and apply myself for success in the real world... again. Time to put cancer in the background.

     Of course, there are times where the cancer/treatment is unavoidably in the foreground... like when my radiation treatments start in a few months. But, until then, I am allowed certain some freedom in not having an appointment every other day. So, I think I'll use this downtime as an opportunity to give my mind a break and spend less time thinking about the cancer.
     It's a change of mental posture. Time for a relaxed stance.

     This includes my blog, of course. I'm not really thinking about it as much, and I certainly don't want to try to think about the cancer... that's like dwelling on it. So, I'll just say less... that is, unless there is an event/appointment or something that gives me something to talk about.

     Accordingly, I'm going to reduce my posts to every Monday until my radiation treatments start. Of course, I'll also post as soon as I can if there's any news or events.

     That being said... see ya next week for my (supposedly) last Stanford appointment!