[2-15-08] Orchid's Flower

     A few days after I was first diagnosed, I bought an orchid. I vowed to take care of the plant like it was my own life. The flower died a few days ago...
     I tried everything. I ran to the florist, and asked for advice. He told me exactly how much they liked to be watered, and that they liked to be misted in the mornings. I bought a spray bottle and went to it...
     A few days later, the flower still wasn't looking healthy. I told him about this, and he mentioned that my apartment may not be getting enough air circulation. Desperate, I went to Wallgreen's and bought three fans. I opened my windows and let all three fans continually circulate the air in my small room. Leaving my windows open meant cold nights and random noises on the busy street waking me up several times a night. But the orchid had to live.

     I hope this is not a prophecy.

     Fortunately, the plant part is still alive. I wonder...when it flowers again next year, will it mark the cure of my cancer? Probably, I'll be cured before then...or, perhaps the orchid will flower early?
     Valentine's day was awesome. Liz was great. Carpe diem!

[2-14-08] Valentine's Day!

     I have a date for Valentine's day! Woot! Things might work out for me and this girl. So, I was thinking about chemotherapy and my hair...
     I called this hair replacement studio and they told me all about their products. Actually, they said that it was rare for men to come in because they were more comfortable with hair-loss.
     Then the lady mentioned that hair-loss due to chemo is a "badge of courage" of some kind. I don't know how I feel about that. On one hand, getting a wig shows that you have the resolve to not "let cancer win" by allowing it to interfere in your day-to-day life. On the other hand, sporting your baldness says "I have cancer, do you have a problem with that?"

[2-8-08] Dr. House

     So, I'm celebrating my Friday by binge-watching episodes of Dr. House and drinking sangria. Nothing like coming to terms with your illness by commiserating with those about to be saved by a brilliant doctor.
     Anyhow, this kid on the show is getting a bone marrow biopsy. Sound familiar? Oh yeah, I got one of those. Dr. House says, "Oh yeah, this is going to hurt." The kid clenches in pain and lets out a scream. I think to myself: heh, I didn't scream. I'm bad-ass :P (Better living through delusion, I say)

[2-6-08] Muga Scan

[7:20am]
     Here I am at the hospital for the "Muga Scan." It's in the department of "Nuclear Medicine." That sounds so cool.
     My guess is that they inject me with some sort of radioactive dye, which gives the scanning machines a real-time view of my heart in action.

[8:50am]
     Sheesh! Long wait! When I approached the office, the lights were off. Odd, my appointment was scheduled for 8:00am. ... ... Eventually I got in.
     Yep, it's a "radio-isotope." The technician made sure to point this out, and reminded me to drink a lot of water so that my "gonads remain intact." Apparently, these diagnostic machines like to foster a very intimate relationship with my 'nads.

[2-5-08] Santa Cruz

     I went to Santa Cruz a couple of days ago -- we lived it up! It took a couple-few-twelve beers to tell my family, but the news was broken. There was distress -- I felt bad. However, there was much comfort, and I felt immeasurably better. Needless to say, I continued to get drunk.

[11:30am]
     I just got the bone marrow biopsy done. They extracted a bone sample and marrow from my hip. It felt weird, like a shock down my legs. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it still totally sucked.

[8:40pm]
     You know, I did some research today. It seems that my symptoms indicate either Hodgkin's (which has a great cure rate), or non-Hodgkin's (which has a 50-70% cure rate). That's pretty good, you know? I'm not doomed.
     Mom said non-Hodgkin's was incurable... pa-shaw! I was talking with my family about having a Hodgkin's party if that was the diagnosis... strange as it seems.

[2-1-08] Graphics vs. AI

     I failed to complete my graphics programming homework. I just couldn't concentrate/care about the ugly math. The programming assignment was fun, though -- I finished that.

     I saw Lisa, from the school's Social Services dept., today. Nice lady. I told her the same old story & how it would be difficult to tell my family and whatnot.
     Then she told me about how I can get an extra loan for $2,800 for medical expenses. Also, that I should get the DSP (Disabled Students Program) to help me out.

[11:00am]
     I went to my first AI discussion section. The TA did an example of Bayesian Maps. The sample problem was, "find the probability of certain symptoms given that the patient has cancer, and vice versa." I felt a little upset about that. At that moment, I wonder how he would react if I blurted out my situation in front of the class...
     Maybe I should drop the graphics class.